February 2, 2006

Kitchen Confessions

We all have some foodie confessions, some dark, some funny, some embarassing...
Here are mine:

Raisins are on the “dead to me” list. So is white chocolate. Golden raisins, you’re on notice, meaning you’re okay in certain situations.

I love French mayonnaise and mustard with a passion known by few.

I hate eating salad after a meal, but I do it.

I don’t have a favorite meal and I hate it when people ask what my best dish is.

I’m not very good at cooking vegetables or making salad dressings, but I’m getting better.

I don’t like sushi, but I love other Japanese food.

I licked that spoon.

I don’t buy organic milk because it’s too expensive.

I do buy really good quality cheese.

I’ve never made risotto.

My favorite thing is going to a restaurant that brings you a complimentary aperitif when you arrive. C'mon, a cheap little Kir for each client keeps us happy and always sets us up to love the place. I don't know why every restaurant doesn't do this.

I don't have a proverbial cafe in Paris where everybody knows my name...This makes me feel like a bit of a failure.

I thought I was going to throw up the first time I ate dim sum.(It was just too weird for me back then.)

I love creamy puréed soups, so France is perfect for me.

I prefer soup as a main course, not a starter, so France sucks for me.

My freezer contains mostly alcohol.

I hate when people salt their food before tasting it.

I hate when people aren't gracious and kind with servers at restaurants.

I love making reservations in French.

I really hate chocolate chip cookies.

I love pickles. Really garlicky ones.

I always wash my mushrooms and try to make up for it by blotting them dry with paper towels.

I use too many paper towels.

I probably eat too many undercooked eggs, but I’m not worried it.

For breakfast, I love to eat fried, over-easy eggs mashed up with a fork and spread on toast, with lots of salt and pepper.

I love chocolate éclairs or anything filled with pastry cream! I’m obsessed.

If I see Kraft Parmesan "cheese" (the one in the green shaker) at your house I'm going to beat you with whatever is readily available.

My only OCD thing (I think!) about food is this: I like each bite to be perfect. So, I’m pretty particular about evenly dispersing each topping on a pizza, layering lasagna, or eating salad. Paul and I once bought a ham and mushroom pizza from a place near us and when we got home and opened the box, it looked like a train wreck. All the ham was on 1/3 of the pizza and all the mushrooms were in a big pile in the middle. I just stared at it forever. I understood, then and there, that maybe I’m alone in this world. What sort of human being (if you can call them that) can prepare food like this and go on with their life like nothing happened?!? I guess I take a certain pride in my little perfectionist pizza making. Securing a delicious result by spending just a few extra moments positioning the pepperoni seems a small price to pay for an enjoyable eating experience. I suppose I could give them some credit. They simply want to leave it up to you! You spread out those mushrooms the way you want them. See, I piled them here so that you could be empowered. I know you bought your dinner, but didn’t you really want to get your hands in there so it feels like you made it?

Okay, I told you mine. Now tell me yours!

2 comments:

emilyrocks said...

"I thought I was going to throw up the first time I ate dim sum.(It was just too weird for me back then.)"

you're dead to me now.
----------------
i hate cornbread and corndogs but i love all other corn related products including mini corndogs.

i love macaroni and cheese but only the kraft box kind and only after it's been refrigerated.

i sometimes put ketchup (and worcesthire) on my rice. but not lately.

i always say i can't cook but really, i'm just too lazy to put the time in. deep down i consider myself an extraordinary culinary master. when i deign to do so.

the only dishes i can make without a recipe are mashed potatoes and my mom's szechuan chicken.

i love all vegetables, including brussel sprouts and lima beans. others often consider this insane.

Oob said...

I hate, hate, hate: carrots. Brussel sprouts. Soggy mushrooms and mushy asparagus that come in a can. Cooked cabbage.

I love, love, love: corn, potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers, sweet onions, romaine lettuce.

I think Hidden Valley Ranch is amazing. I put it on way more things than I should.

Not a big fan of carrot cake. But I love the cream cheese icing.

Speaking of cheese, I am addicted to Havarti, extra sharp cheddars, muenster, smoked gouda, fresh mozz., and the list goes on. But stinky cheeses? Forget it. You can keep the bleu, stilton, gorgonzola and odiferous grossness to your damn self.

I think wheat breads taste like dirt.

Every day is a struggle not to stop at Whole Foods and get a cheese danish that is still warm from the oven.

I also despise those that treat servers badly and refuse to leave more than a 10% tip.

The more I branch into better quality foods, like chocolate and cheeses, the more I realize what I've been eating tastes like poo.

I like to eat cinnamon graham crackers that have been dipped in milk.

It's better to bring me strawberries than bringing me flowers.

I licked that spoon too!

I am actually a decent cook, provided you give me enough time and space and proper kitchen supplies.